The nursery

The nursery is ALMOST finished! We just need to pick up a few last items and we'll be ready! Only thing missing is the baby boy!
(He'll be here soon enough!)

The entrance to the nursery.

Crib with banyan tree (thanks Liz!) We're still missing the mattress, but baby boy will sleep in the Pack n' Play in our bedroom for awhile...

We plan to get a rocking chair where that little rocker is currently.

Changing table (still missing the changing pad). And car seat waiting to be put in the car.

Nappy bag packed and ready to go to the hospital!

Look how many books he already has!

A baby Fu & Beckaboo :)

Keeping busy in week 36 of pregnancy!

This staycation is turning out better than I expected! I've already been hugely productive and I still have an entire week before I head back to work!
Today's project was making a birthing necklace & bracelet. I got together with some friends a few weeks ago and everyone brought a bead to add to a birthing necklace that I can wear during labor & delivery in order hold the positive presence of my friends with me...
Because of the diversity of the beads, I decided to make both a necklace and a bracelet. I also added some beads, like some garnets, which will be our Kebob's birth stone (as long as he's born in January!)
I used to make TONS of jewelry as a hobby so going to the bead shop and making these pieces reminded me of how much I love to be creative in this way!

Some of the ladies who brought beads for the necklace...

Here's how they turned out! I really love them!
Necklace beads from Abby, Sue & Sallyanne
Bracelet beads from Liz, Yara, Sara & Lianne along with some garnets and a few beads I had from Guinea. 

This week I also got a few packages from back home! It's always exciting to open a package, but when it comes all the way from America with special hand-written letters, mixed tape cd's and thought out gifts for our little one...it's even more special.

I keep listening to this song that my friend Dayna put on a playlist for us...songs that she shared with her little boys that I will now share with our little boy...

This past week we also had some maternity photos taken. We decided to have them taken at our house, because we live in a beautiful home and wanted to celebrate it. My friend Liz did some henna on my belly and I used a sari that I got while Fuad & I were in Mumbai to drape around my body...my favorites are the ones taken in the nursery. Here are a few of our favorites...

Things are going well! 

Christmas Staycation in Chiang Mai

Last year we spent Christmas in Hawaii with my parents...

And the year before (2010) we spent Christmas in Bali on our Honeymoon...

Christmas 2008 I spent Christmas day giving to the children and young people at the Fore-Fote drum & dance camp on the island of Roume, Guinea, West Africa...Here they are lined up to receive what the foreigners had brought them.

I've been away from home during the Holidays...but for some reason I'm having a bit of a hard time with spending Christmas here in our home away from home in Chiang Mai. Temperatures are still reaching up to 90 degrees almost everyday, I haven't bought a single gift and it just doesn't feel like Christmas...

So even though we're not traveling (can't travel anyway at 35 weeks pregnant!) and we're not going to be able to spend time with family, we do have a lot to do during this 2 week staycation...like the final preparations for the arrival of our son!

Some of the to-do list includes:

Pack the hospital bag

Tour the hospital

Put the car seat in the car

Hang curtains in the nursery

Make my birthing necklace

Finish setting up the guest room for my folks arrival on Feb. 1st.

I'd also like to put my feet up, read some books and watch some movies!

We also have a priority to spend as much time together as possible, because come late January, almost everything is going to change...

Family picture from Christmas 2009, the last Christmas we spent in the Mid-west.

It's almost time for his arrival...

I feel a blog post coming on...not sure what I want to say, but there's something inside turning & brewing...there's some contemplation going on...some simmering as well...

We're at 34 1/2 weeks now and it truly feels like the weeks are passing faster & faster. As we approach the end of pregnancy I've found myself wishing I had been more active journaling & blogging the entire process. I've been reading so many mommy & parenting blogs and I can relate to their pregnancy journey, but I haven't found the time to document mine in such detail...

Here's a blog I stumbled upon recently, and couldn't stop reading her heartfelt wishes for her un-born daughter...and there's others with more practical information like this one or a fellow yogini mommy whose posts are short and almost always sweet.

What do I want to communicate & remember about this process of growing our little Kebob in my belly? There have been so many hopes & fears along the way, and it's still not over... I know that they won't subside until he's safely delivered into our arms. And then...a whole new set of hopes & fears will become present!

I want to remember the conversations that Fuad & I have shared in preparing for Kebob's arrival....discussions about the "what if's" and how we perceive our lives to change once he arrives. 

I want to remember that this baby boy took 10 flights in utero! He's already a world traveler! I want to remember how my students want to sing hello to him during our hello song in music class....and all the kicks & turns & hiccups that remind me he's growing strong in there...

I'd like to forget that I'm not that pregnant lady who feels fantastic and full of energy...I feel huge, my ankles and hands are puffy, I'm HOT all the time and I'm tired everyday because I'm no longer sleeping through the night!

But...even with the difficulties that pregnancy brings, I know the joy we'll feel on the flip side will make every ache and pain disappear...I'm looking forward to our meeting more & more with each passing day.  

Lanterns fill the sky...Loy Krathong @Mae Jo University

If you google Chiang Mai, Thailand, the launch of khom loy lanterns at Mae Jo University is one of the top images that appears. This event occurs during Loy Krathong, one of biggest festivals in Thailand. I remember seeing an image close to this one while researching Chiang Mai just before we moved here in July of 2011 and thinking that I couldn't wait to experience the beauty of the sky lanterns first hand...
(not my picture btw)

This festival coincides with the  full moon of the 12th lunar month (according to the Thai calendar) and even has a special song...



This year we took we took the trip out to Mae Jo University to experience it first hand. To be perfectly honest I was nervous about going, at almost 32 weeks pregnant it could potentially be a really long day for me. Right now I have to consider the heat, how long I'll be walking, sitting or standing and the availability & proximity of bathrooms. We decided to drive separate so that we could have a little more control over our experience and we could leave at any time, if needed.
In total we were a group of about 12 people, we made a caravan out to the University complete with a picnic (left over turkey made into delicious sandwiches) This journey started around 3:00 pm.

We arrive, park, take a long walk to the site...so far so good!

I begin to overheat...I begin to ache in the low back & hips...I sweat continuously for the following 5 hours or so....not so good.

Along with thousands of others we listened to the chanting of the monks, sat during the meditation and anxiously awaited the moment to light our lanterns. At around 7:30 the time comes! Everyone is up, ground lanterns lit, we're ready and have forgotten about the heat and the wait. We're instructed to wait until the cue so everyone present can release their lantern at the same moment in order to "create the most spectacular vision in the world to behold" (according to the MC).

Fuad waiting next to the ground lantern. 

Fuad & I with our ground lantern.

The anticipation is building...the MC give very clear directions as to how to light the khom loy's, then asks us to SIT BACK DOWN?! The funny thing is the 7 or so teachers among the group immediately look at each and said, "you can't do that!" You can't give directions, while we're all ready to go, then make us wait longer!
The first launch occurs and it's bliss & smiles all around! It truly was a beautiful sight to behold!

 (this one is my picture)

First release...

 Fuad & I helped launch 3 lanterns. We had already determined our intention for each one and I have to admit as I watched the 3rd lantern float to the sky, I teared up...the scene and a sense of unity amongst those present overwhelmed me for a moment. I'm pretty sure Fuad felt the same way, we exchanged a knowing glance, the one where we acknowledge how blessed we are... to be here, to have these experiences, to have each other, to live this charmed & blessed that we live.

The last 2 lanterns our group launched...

Then we started the journey home...

I really don't think there is anyway to accurately describe the mess & chaos that followed the lantern launching so I'm going to keep this part short.

We got funneled into a bottleneck and it took us an HOUR to walk to our car. HOT, SWEATY people pushing up against each other with no regard whatsoever to personal body space. I struggled in my nearly 8 month pregnant body & mind not to have a complete melt down...we even joked about faking labor just to get through the crowd. (which we didn't do btw)

As we finally approached the car, the wind suddenly pick up, rain seemed imminent and the scene turned apocalyptic...people running to their transport, scooters racing down the street in an attempt to beat the coming storm, lightening & thunder coming consistently.   

We made it to the car just as it started to beat down...it took us another hour to drive home in an absolute downpour! 

We arrived to our part of town to flooded streets and no power. 

Fuad stated that it was as if God was responding to all that fire we put up into the sky...

In the end it was quite a memorable night.

Babymoon?

Sunset at Kata Beach Phuket, Thailand

As soon as I came across the concept of the "babymoon" in my mommy-to-be reading, I knew we needed to take one!
Google "babymoon" and tons of sites come up offering advice, ideas & deals. Here's one from Frommer's, the well respected tourist guide book, or if you're looking for more of an explanation, you could check out the wikipedia link.
For Fuad & I the babymoon has been a getaway trip with time set aside to do absolutely NOTHING...besides sleep, eat, lay by the pool or on the beach and make plans for the arrival of our little boy. The timing was perfect, with a break from school during my 27th week, so we decided to stay in Thailand and flew down south to check out Phuket.

Each day of this trip I have felt so grateful to have this time with my husband during this experience in our lives! You see we love to travel and it's usually packed with long days of sight seeing, but not this time, this time the goal is to relax and to connect with one another.
We plan to continue traveling and seeing the world with our growing family...next trip we'll be 3...

27 weeks pregnant

Heading out to dinner.

Non-Attachment...the Hard Way

It's been a rough few weeks. In late September I accidentally spilled a bottle of water on my laptop's keyboard and watched in horror as my computer died in front of me. I powered down, tried a million remedies to dry out the chassis, but the hard drive had fried, and no matter who looked at it, all my data was gone. No one could salvage it. 5 years of my life gone in an instant, and tons of work down the drain, never to be recovered. It's five weeks later and I'm just now digging myself out of the giant hole I dug for myself, finishing job assignments that should've been completed a month ago... I didn't have a back-up, and I lost a lot of unique things that are irreplaceable. Original document templates, photographs from a dozen countries, videos of my 9-week old puppy staring into a mirror for the first time, work projects that took years to finish, elements I designed for my wedding, and every playlist I've used for a DJ set in the last five years... All gone in an instant...  There's a profound lesson here somewhere, but I'm not sure what it is...

When we moved to Thailand, Becky and I made a conscious effort to practice non-attachment, which is called Aparigraha in Sanskrit and is one of central yamas stressed in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, one of the many books we use to guide our lives. I've struggled for a long time with Aparigraha, because collecting vast quantities of music is necessary for a DJ, and anyone who's ever seen the multiple man-caves I've lived in could tell you, I've always been surrounded by copious quantities of media. I'm not a hoarder, by any means, but I have a fondness for books, DVDs, and records, and have spent the last 12 years as a professional librarian of sorts in my day job as well... The things is, I thought I'd gotten a pretty good handle on this issue, having liquidated almost all my worldly possessions in the three month run-up to our departure from Chicago. Sold a couple hundred life-changing books, dispensed with a few trusty instruments, emptied my closet, and had a fire-sale of my record collection where I parted with 2000+ albums in a few weeks. It hurt, but it also felt hugely liberating. I even loaded my turntable coffin into the back of some stranger's truck, and watched him drive off, leaving me with a fistful of dirty hundred dollar bills and a pervasive feeling of regret: I sold my most prized possession to the first guy who answered my ad on Craigslist. Watching some random meth-head with rotting teeth and needle tracks up his arms drive away with my turntables & mixer was a hard lesson in non-attachment. Sometimes you just have to let things go, no matter how invested in them you are, no matter how much they've shaped your life. And yet here I am, just over a year later, tearing my hair out over the loss of my hard drive, and the erasing of a vast swath of my recent memory... Attachment, it turns out, runs deeper than just getting rid of your physical possessions...

I've spent the last month realizing how utterly dependent I am on my laptop. I can't do my job without it, and as someone who works from home, my computer is my primary link to my offices in Bangkok, Singapore, and Chicago. I can't get anything done without it, and it's quite humbling to find yourself paralyzed because your tools are suddenly unavailable. But really, there's only one option, which is to start over. Get a new computer. Install the latest operating system. Build better templates. Scrap the old ways of working and replace them with a leaner, more efficient system. And so I write this on a shiny new MacBook Pro my office has kindly given me (I was due for a replacement this month anyway), and I'm looking forward, thinking about fresh canvasses to deface and different approaches to old problems. I've been forced to evolve, because everything that got me to this point is suddenly gone. The work is gone but I have the skills to do it all over... I suppose this is actually a pretty nifty metaphor for this new life I'm living in Thailand. I am no longer a DJ, no longer a musician seeking peers & paying gigs, no longer an angry malcontent raging at the idiocies of the US government, no longer surrounded by artists and bohemians and plotting out new ways to express myself. I am no longer living a reactive life, no longer circumscribed by the limitations of my tools, no longer hemmed in by old ways of seeing and the accumulated detritus of an old identity. Who I am is whoever I want to be, and whatever I want to build. And that's once again hugely liberating. Or maybe I'm just trying to wrap a shiny bow around the absolutely craptastic reality that I just lost 500 GB of my best work, and a decade's worth of labor. When years of your life disappear into a digital void, it's time to start reinventing yourself... Letting go gets easier once you stop looking back at the places you've been, and start gazing at the gorgeous horizon in front of you. I'm going to keep reminding myself of this as I start from square one all over again.

Dance party in my belly!

I felt the baby kick last night! It was a magical moment...we were listening to a song Fuad posted on facebook and it happened, so perhaps it was dancing : ) I've been patiently waiting to feel it, every night when I lay down I rest my hands on my belly and wait...my mom told me that there would be no mistaking it, that when it happens I would know exactly what it was, she was right!
I laughed and then I cried (which reminds me of one my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Steel Magnolias when Dolly Parton's character says to Sally Field's "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion")

Then I watched an amazing movie...Babies



Then I drifted to sleep and dreamed of a baby girl...

"You're going to have the baby in Thailand?"

Yes, we are.
So many people back home had questions about Fuad & I having our baby in Thailand. I think since so few people I know back home have actually been to Thailand, it's hard for them to wrap their head around birthing and raising a baby anywhere else but the U.S.
We have found a Ob/Gyn who came highly recommended by several American teachers at my school, she speaks very good English (which is important) and although the experience of going to the doctor here is very different than in the U.S. I wouldn't say that different makes it bad...different could be better.
From the recommendation of one of my former American teaching colleagues (who birthed 2 children here in Chiang Mai) I watched the movie "The Business of Being Born" and felt appalled by the birthing situation in the States, with the disappearance of midwives & home births, and the increase of c- sections & induced labors (sometimes so the doctor can make in home in time for dinner) I found that in some ways I'm grateful to be here...removed from that "business." I just discovered last week that the use of epidurals is illegal in Chiang Mai, I was initially shocked at this information and although I didn't want one anyway, I have to admit there's something comforting in knowing that it's there if I wanted it.
Check out this movie if you have the time and are interested, it's full of information that was new to me.  (Thanks Karina)


Things are going well with the pregnancy. Especially now that the 1st trimester has passed with its nausea & exhaustion and I feel good. I had an appointment last week when I returned from the States and heard the baby's heartbeat, which was going strong at 150 beats per minute and in 3 weeks we return for the gender reveal ultrasound! I can't wait!
Baby "stuff", at least the kind of "stuff" Westerners like is much more expensive than you would pay at home, so we brought back 2 suitcases filled with stuff just for baby. I carried on a pac n' play, we shipped a infant rocker (which arrived today) and Fuad is sending the car seat. My folks will also be bringing some stuff when they come in February.
Otherwise I'm just adjusting back into my work schedule and savoring the joy of telling my students our exciting news. Some of them are stand-offish when they discover the news and others have this beautiful grin that spreads across their face & I love it! Today with a class of 3rd graders we talked about how the baby can hear our singing and the guitar as I play it in front of my belly...sharing with my students that the baby hears everything that I hear & feels everything that I feel was an amazing moment for me. For all these years (this is my 13th in fact) I've taught & nurtured other people's children and now I get to experience the joy of nurturing my own. I tear up as I write this...
Then one student informed me that I probably shouldn't sing or play too loud.
The other exciting news was my maternity leave. I get 60 days paid, I can add on my 15 sick days & 5 personal days (paid) and if I wanted more time I can add on an additional 30 days (un-paid) and still hold my position when I return. The 80 days paid is more than enough to get me through and I'm so grateful to have this amount of time (paid!) to be with our new baby! The school has a nursery for staff children so when I return to work, I'll be able to take the baby with me and since there are currently 5 families expecting, it's going to be a full house!

Return trip to the USA-Part 2

So after spending 2 weeks in St. Joe catching up with family & friends who are nearby I took the Southshore train (an old and familiar friend) to Chicago (with a short detour in Valparaiso to spend the night with the Prindles) and after 2 weeks apart (which felt like an eternity) I was reunited with my husband! We spent most of the day hanging out with our long-time friend Beth (meeting her newest addition Davis).

Beth, Davis & I

Then...6am flight to Boston! We spent 6 glorious days hanging out with the Mountcastles' with their newest addition, Ian.

Megan & Ian

 Honestly, with our own bundle of joy on the way I was a little nervous about seeing life with a newborn "up-close & personal"...however in reality I was reassured that we could do it too. Seeing Megan & Paul in their new roles as parents this early in the game was a blessing for both Fuad & I, Every step of the way I felt like "If they can do it, we can do it" and being in household where all of this is so new felt really comforting. With Ian being only a month old, Megan & Paul were both sympathetic to my pregnancy sign & symptoms, they had all kinds of interesting books to peruse AND we got to try our hand and holding & comforting & playing with Ian.
We enjoyed talking some walks, sharing some divine meals, the maiden voyage of Ian's first meal out at a restaurant, and simply hanging out together. It's the simple things in life, you know. Good friends, family, a good meal & a shared smile along the way.

Return trip to the USA Part 1

This part of the trip didn't send me reeling as I expected it would. Maybe it's because the pace of St. Joe in the summer is what you would expect from a small beach town...or maybe it's because I'm basking in the glow of telling my family and friends that Fuad & I are expecting our first child. So rather than feeling those "life back in America" feelings, I'm focused on how I feel physically & emotionally day by day as the end of my first trimester comes to a close.
I'm preparing for the 2nd part of this trip...a transition though Valparaiso & Chicago as I meet Fuad (after spending a very long 2 weeks apart) and together we'll make our way to Boston.
So I reflect on the past 2 weeks which have been glorious! I did everything on my list for St. Joe. I spent time with family & friends, I walked on the lakefront & took in some sunsets. I overindulged on my favorite foods & ate at some of my favorite St. Joe restaurants. I shopped, I ate, I laid on the singing sands of Silver Beach. I'm so grateful to have had this time here during this phase of my life!
But at the same time, I just had this realization that it will never be the same...I guess it never is, right? You occupy space for a given time and you move forward...Next summer when Fuad & I come to this place we'll have our 5 month old baby in tow!

The journey home...

I'm here, back in my old bedroom at my parents house in the town that I grew up in and it feels so familiar it's strange. Like nothing at all has changed...except me.
My trip home was very smooth, no glitches at all...so thank you to those of you sending positive thoughts for safe travels. The journey took about 24 hours. Luckily Chiang Mai has an International Airport so I took the relatively short trip of 5 hours from Chiang Mai to Seoul, had a 4 hour layover at Seoul (I actually laid out on benches and got some good sleep), then the journey continued with the painfully long leg from Seoul to Chicago which is 12 hours. (I forced myself not to look at the flight progress screen, finally I had to and was so disappointed to discover 5 hours remaining!!! Which is the point when I said to myself, I live REALLY far away!) I didn't really sleep much on the flight, but caught up on some good movie watching and last night I sleep like a champion because I was so exhausted.
My folks picked me up at the airport and we picked up right where we left off...I'm grateful to say that even though I've spent the past year halfway around the world I don't feel like I've missed out on details of my parents life because we keep in such great communication. We skype at least once a week and talk on the phone several times a week and occasionally facebook chat in between. It really is true...with the technology we have available to us these days, the world is shrinking. Makes me think of  what Fuad always says to me when he travels far away for his work trips. "Distance is an illusion" at this point I'd have to agree...but I've learned this past year that you have to put some effort into maintaining relationships...you know, like send the occasional email, make the phone call, do the facebook chat, or send a card in the mail!...I can't think of a time when I didn't feel so happy to hear from a far away friend.
Anyway...
I know that this trip is going to send me reeling...and that many of the people in my life here might not understand the process of reverse culture shock and how I'm feeling, but I'm willing to share my process.
So...with that said, on my first morning back in this town that I love, I'm going for a walk on the lakefront, then I'm going to sit and stare at the water and contemplate the beauty of nature and the beauty of this life I'm so blessed to live.
and then...I'm going to find something really delicious to eat!
If you want to hang out...don't wait, contact me! For now, via facebook until I get my phone working.

One of my favorite wedding pictures taken on the lakefront in St. Joe, my hometown...
 

Saffron & Blue

There are few things in this world as gratifying and heart warming as the hospitality of a stranger. To be welcomed into someone's home with open arms, and have them treat you like long lost family affirms all the noblest sentiments we harbor about the generous character of the human species. It's easy to look around at the world and see countless reasons to doubt the innate goodness of man, but when someone you barely know takes you in, nurtures you, feeds your body and soul, and asks for nothing in return, you find yourself marveling at the munificence of your fellow man, and their kindness reverberates within you until gratitude spills forth in waves. It's one thing to visit a country and traipse through hotels, but you can't begin to understand the soul of a place until you set foot in someone's home, and taste their food, and sleep under their shelter. It's really an astonishing turn of good fortune that brought me to Saffron & Blue, Ranil de Silva's beach home on Sri Lanka's southwestern coast, but I give thanks for the many blessings bestowed upon us that we had an opportunity to visit this magical place.

It's not quite right to call Ranil a stranger. I've met him several times over the last few years, at a number of work conferences, and we've had a few good conversations as we've gotten to know one another. But our interactions have always been over cocktails or buffet meals organized by the agency, or over e-mail, and while I gladly count Ranil among my friends, our friendship has been framed entirely by work. I don't know much about him beyond what he does, yet he still opened his home to Becky and I, and went out of his way in a number of ways to help make our visit to Sri Lanka magical and memorable.  
Ranil is a man with impeccable taste and a huge heart, who genuinely cares for people and gives of himself authentically. His home is a great reflection of who he is: it's open, airy, filled with treasures gathered from across the world, and everything about it is tasteful and refined.  Of all the many things I take away from our week in Sri Lanka, I think I value our time at Saffron & Blue the highest, because it gives me something to strive towards. Someday I want a home like this, where I can invite friends to visit, and where I can feed them sublime meals, and give them a view of a paradise they didn't even know existed. The few idyllic days we spent in Kosgoda were the perfect end to a marvelous vacation, and we treasured every moment.
I hope someday I can reciprocate Ranil's generosity, but it'll take some time to build a home of this class and caliber. Constructed by noted Sri Lankan architect Channa Daswatte (a protege of Geoffrey Bawa), this house was designed and constructed after the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami completely destroyed the previous home on the property. It's open plan is a marvel to behold, and I highly recommend spending some time on the Saffron & Blue website to really get a sense of this place. The staff was solicitous and considerate, they fed us phenomenal meals (the coconut roti in the morning was particularly tasty), and helped us navigate our way to Galle and back for a day.  Becky and I both hope to return to Kosgoda, as Sri Lanka definitely captured our imagination, and we only scraped the surface of the country in a few short days. Maybe next time we'll ask Ranil if we can't spend a few more days in his lovely home. Due to our timing, we only saw a single sunset from his property, but thankfully, we recorded it for posterity. Have a look below. This was our last night in Sri Lanka, and I can't think of a better place to spend it... Thank you Ranil for everything.


  

Baby Turtles

Spent part of the morning at the Kosgoda Turtle Hatchery, a few steps away from the beach house. It's small, but it's amazing place. We got to hold one-day old baby turtles in our hands, as well as big albino turtles. It was a truly wonderful experience. New life is always astonishingly cute, and watching these little guys swim and flop around was a great way to start the day.

Fighting at the Grocery Store

Survived the 6 hour drive from Dabulla to Kosgoda. Our driver proved to be quite the conversationalist, and engaged us on the subject of Buddhism with all the enthusiasm of an evangelist seeking converts. Unprompted, he started telling us about the goals of meditation, and our conversation veered into truly surreal territory when he asked us if we were familiar with the work of Edgar Cayce. I am, in fact, pretty familiar with Edgar Cayce and his life's work, as I'd read a book about him many years ago detailing his astounding exploits under hypnotic trances. Our driver was most impressed. I think the feeling was mutual. The fact that our driver could hold forth authoritatively on the subject of Christian psychics from Kentucky and the nuances of various states of Dhyana was somewhat astonishing for both Becky and myself. I guess that just goes to show you that you can't tell much about someone's depth or education by their station in life. Our driver was quite a scholar in his own way...but his driving still sucked. It's hard to take someone seriously as they offer up a discourse on an enlightenment while they play chicken with tuktuks in opposing lanes. He was quite aggressive in the way he braked around big vehicles, and bypassed smaller ones. On the highway he turned off on the wrong exit, and then decided to fix his mistake by driving in reverse about 1/4 kilometer to get back to the highway. Lordy. We were thankful to get out of the car a few minutes later at the grocery store, to pick up some supplies for the beach house. The following interaction took place in line at the checkout counter:

Becky: I can't deal with this right now.
Fuad: Chill out. We'll be done in a minute.
Becky: (eyes widening into a furious glare) How DARE you tell me to CHILL OUT?!!!
Fuad: (eyes widening) Uhhhh, ok?
Becky: Don't talk to me that way! I can't BELIEVE you just told me to CHILL OUT!
Fuad: (stifling laughter)...um...relax?
Becky: (shrill) DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX!

This little exchange played out over a few minutes, as I slowly came to realize it wasn't really funny and that Becky was actually really mad at me for not taking her seriously. Humor apparently wasn't going to fix it either. Oops. I include this small little incident here on our blog as a little window into our vacation. It's a little of realism that should be included into this document of our 2-week trip. While the pictures might imply that we were blissed out the entire time, we did, in fact, have a few arguments along the way, as couples do. Nothing serious, or lasting, or important, but it would be dishonest to pretend that two people can spend every minute of two weeks together without occasionally getting on each others nerves. In this case, I was apparently insensitive to the fact that my wife was car sick and overheated. I thought she was kidding when she implied "chill out" was some kind of derogatory statement. I mean...it's not like I wouldn't say that to my own mother, or anyone else, for that matter. But at the time, it was exactly the wrong this to say.  It took the rest of our ride, and our arrival at Ranil's phenomenal beach house to fully put that little episode behind us, and before long, we were right back in bliss. Which just goes to show you...sometimes you need to have bumps in the road to really appreciate how smooth the rest of the ride is... Right Becky? Oh, and CHILL OUT! ;-p

Cave Temples at Dambulla

After the long hike up Sigiriya, and an hour spent savoring the summit and its panoramic views, we descended down the rock in a matter of minutes. The way down was fast and easy, because no one was stopping to see the sights and the route was much simpler. It's yet another interesting design aspect of the place: getting to the top is a bit torturous, along twisting routes and around blind corners, but getting down was prompt. The paranoid King Kashyapa set it up so that he could make a quick exit, if needed... Incidentally, here's another version of the history of Sigiriya worth checking out, entitled "Citadel City of the Playboy King"... I offer it up with the disclaimer that you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet, and that this version of history is disputed... But then, what version isn't?

After we finally made it back to the base of the rock, we got in our vehicle and were driven to the Cave Temple complex at Dambulla. This is yet another UNESCO World Heritage site, that has been used for meditation dating back to the 1st century BC. There are 5 large caves towards the top of a 160 meter high hill, which was surprisingly hard to climb. Those 1202 steps up Sigiriya caught up to us with a vengeance, and it took us longer than anticipated to laboriously climb the slope up to the caves. Once we were there, we surrendered our shoes at the door, and scampered across some very hot stones until we found ourselves packed into a tiny cave behind a 20-strong Russian tour group. There's nothing quite like seeing a profound space when you're crammed next to oblivious, uncomfortable tourists who are being herded along in a tight pack. Needless to say, the magic and wonder of the Dambulla caves was muted until we leapfrogged the tour group and had a chance to appreciate the splendor of this incredible site in a more private setting. A meditation cave is best appreciated in small numbers.

These caves were stunning, with each one seemingly more impressive than the last. The natural architecture had been embellished and decorated and the rooms were filled with religious statues and paintings, and you got the sense while you were in these spaces that the air was dense with the accumulated intentions and devotions of everyone who had ever spent time there over the course of the centuries. Although most of the paintings are fairly recent (19th century), the caves are still filled with antique Buddhas, Boddhisatva statues, and images from the Hindu epics. Everywhere you look, there's something potent to marvel at, in dim light and wreathed in shadows. The floors were cool on the soles of our feet, and we wandered from room to room taking in the overwhelming unlikeliness of it all. Huge stone statues fill these rooms. The effort and dedication it must have taken to bring these things here, and to paint every inch of available space is beyond admirable. This was yet another place that was hard to wrap our heads around.

I wish we'd come a different day, and had spent more time at Dambulla really appreciating the place. By the time we got to the top, we were a bit tired, a little hungry, and definitely almost overheated. It's tough to fully take in a place that's been a sacred pilgrimage site for 22 centuries when you're not mentally prepared to spend a lot of time there. I can't speak for Becky but I wasn't ready to really soak it all in. I was still high off of Sigiriya. The inner space and contemplative character of the Dambulla caves was a totally different proposition. Don't get me wrong: I loved visiting the caves, and they were incredibly inspiring, and will likely take a long time to really digest and process...but I wish we'd come on a different day, when we could have killed a few more hours at the summit. The views from the top of the hill were amazing, and the place had a really quiet resonance to it that I think we'll remember and carry with us for a long time. Perhaps someday we'll come back. There's a lot more to see in the cultural triangle that we missed this time around, which is a really good reason to make a second trip. Next time, maybe we'll have more time...

For more on the Dambulla Cave Complex, check out this UNESCO link, or their summary write up on Wikipedia.

Sigiriya - the Lion's Rock

I first heard about Sigiriya while hastily flipping through the book "1001 Places to See Before You Die" at an airport bookstore. There were no pictures of it, but the description was enough to pique my interest. It was described as the ancient fortress of a paranoid king, who had built himself an impregnable capital city on the top of an extinct volcano in the very center of Sri Lanka. Hmmmmm.... That sounds like it's worth a visit, yes? It was only later that I saw the pictures, and as impressive and foreboding as they appear, they still do nothing to capture the full insanity and marvelousness of this incredible site. Becky and I spent the better part of our morning climbing Sigiriya's 1202 steps to its stunning summit, and we both realized about halfway up that this was clearly the coolest place either of us have ever been... And we've been to some pretty amazing places...

It's not just the scale of this rock that impresses you. It's not just the ingenious design of the city it housed, with it's highly evolved irrigation systems, it's elaborate defenses, and beautiful pools and gardens. It's not the attention to detail, or the beautiful art, or the city's magnificent grounds that really make you stop and gape. All of those are elements of a larger narrative, and while they're amazing in their own right, they're pieces of a bigger puzzle. What really grips you about the place is the human story behind it, the ambitions and fears of the king who orchestrated its construction, and the stark Shakespearean tragedy that consumed his life. Sigiriya is a monument to madness and paranoia, to murder and ambition, and to the way karma and power balance each other out. We were totally enchanted by it.

So there are multiple myths and legends about how this rock fortress came to be, but the one I like goes like this: around 477 AD, Kashyapa, the bastard son of King Dhatusena, killed his father with the help of some well-placed relatives in the army, and seized control of the kingdom. King Dhatusena's legitimate son Moggallanna fled to India, leaving the new King Kashyapa in full control. The new king was worried that he couldn't defend the traditional capital of Anuradhapura, so he moved his entire kingdom to the barren rock fortress of Sigiriya and built a city around and atop it. He was beset with guilt from killing his father and also feared that his brother would return at the head of an army and depose him. So he dug in, literally, and fortified his position. Unfortunately, even though he commissioned great works at Sigiriya (which translates as "the Lion's Rock", and is meant to honor Lord Buddha), he ultimately committed suicide in battle (or was poisoned by a concubine, depending on which version you believe), and the royal city he constructed was abandoned when Moggallanna returned to reclaim his rightful place on the throne. His brother did not want the fortress on a hill, and gave it to Buddhist monks who turned it into a monastic center, which it remained for hundreds of years. But even though it was a monastery, the frescoes remains, and the place still carried the marks and legacy of King Kashyapa's manic desire to ensconce himself on the highest, safest ground around, where people could only climb up to meet him in single file... 

Legend says that 500 wives joined King Kashyapa on this rock, and he built glorious gardens and pools to house his entourage. He commissioned decorative paintings to be layered on the rock 600 feet above the ground, on narrow ledges, and these paintings have survived against all odds and are considered to be among the world's oldest surviving frescoes. They were painted on foundation walls constructed of egg white, honey, and polished lime. The images are quite stunning, and totally unexpected. You climb a precarious iron spiral staircase that's been welded into the rock to find yourself face to face with large images of ample bosomed women and attendants, in full color garb, scattered across a rock face in such a way that you wonder how people ever managed to get to these high and isolated spots. There's no telling how many people died to paint these images. Indeed, there's no record of how many people died to build this fortress, but it must have been a sizable number....

   

The rock has been altered in countless ways, and every staircase and structure must have required significant manpower. For instance, a huge porcelain "mirror wall" covers one side of the rock, and in its original polished state it was said to be so glossy that the King could see his reflection clearly in it. Now it's been covered with graffiti dating back 1500 years, from travelers and Buddhist monks who came to marvel at the magnificence of this strange and elaborate monastery...

After winding your way around the rock, and up multiple staircases and narrow passes, you find yourself at the ledge before the final summit, which contains the remains of two gigantic Lion's paws. These were excavated at the turn of the 20th century. Apparently in the old days you had to climb stairs through the Lion's mouth to get to the top, but today only the paws remain. They're awesome. The wife and I took some pics... 

The summit has a magnificent view, and reaching it felt like a true accomplishment. I don't climb 1202 steps every day, and beyond the stunning vista you encounter up there, you also find yourself amongst the ruins of King Kashyapa's original city. Swimming pools, stone storehouses, and the foundations for buildings are all in place, and as you climb over each the genius of it all sinks in once again. The place was laid out with meticulous detail, and reminded me of pictures I've seen of Machu Picchu. Like that other city in the sky, Sigiriya holds mysteries that enthrall everyone who climbs its stairs. Cave temples and elaborate royal architectural motifs cover the facades, but there's more here worth digging into. For 1500 years this place has been a center of learning, and the carvings add an otherworldly dimension to the place. I wish pictures could capture it, but the scale and magic of the place is lost in images. You'll just have to go yourself. Go. Do it. And when you've reached the top and gazed in 360 degrees from the very center of Sri Lanka, on the top of a mountain, drop us a line and share what you felt and thought. For the briefest moment, we felt like emperors ourselves, with the lush green forest beneath us and with other ancient cities lurking behind the mountains in the distance. The horizon from the summit was amazing. Some places beggar description. Suffice to say, Sigiriya is worth the flight to Sri Lanka, the 5 hour ride, and the 1 hour climb. If I didn't see anything else in Sri Lanka, this place alone would have made the whole trip worthwhile....

Geoffrey Bawa: Sri Lanka's Greatest Architect

Becky and I spent much of the last two days marveling at the architecture and layout of the Heritance Kandalama, the hotel we stayed at in Dambulla. It was recommended to us by Sri Lankan friends who all testified to the genius of its design, and we were delighted to wander through it, because everywhere you went was picturesque and offered a unique perspective on the beauty of the natural landscape you're a part of. This incredible building was designed by Geoffrey Bawa, one of the most influential Asian architects of the last century, who left a deep legacy on design and architecture in Sri Lanka that the country's residents are quite proud of. I would be too, if I was Sri Lankan. This man was way ahead of his time, and his pioneering "regional modernist" approach was rooted in the idea of "sustainability" long before the word became commonplace. His legacy is deep and expansive, and his biography is really amazing as well. He was trained as a lawyer and didn't start his career as an architect until he was 37 years old, but once he did, he produced a series of stunning creations that remain hugely influential to generations of architects and designers. Below are some of his buildings in Sri Lanka. For more on this man, check out this book or his website, which was set up following his passing in 2003. It was an honor and a privilege to walk through one of his visionary buildings...

Lunuganga Estate, Bawa's country home in Bentota, Sri Lanka

Light House Hotel, Galle, Sri Lanka

Hotel Serendib, Sri Lanka

Artist's rendering of Sri Lanka's National Parliament, created by Geoffrey Bawa

Here's a link to more about Bawa. There's no shortage of sites dedicated to Bawa's legacy worth checking out. His prolific life's work cannot be summarized in something as simple and superficial as a blog post.