Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Identity Shift...


Dylan's first time riding in the cart.
He's so excited!
 It's taken me awhile to consider what to say about being a working mom. I fear that a bulk of my readers will want to roll their eyes, or giggle at my naivety...because I realize how many Moms do this and have been doing this, I just didn't realize how challenging it is...





Dylan with his buddy Tan in the nursery.




To start, I'm in a best case scenario, my school has a nursery on campus for the children of staff. They provide the space, the parents are responsible for providing the "stuff" and the childcare. So we have a nanny, her name is Bo and her twin sister happens to be the nanny of the only other baby in the nursery. Bo had been coming to our house twice a week as our cleaner since about 2 weeks before Dylan was born.  Bo was one of the first people who met Dylan...we came home from the hospital on a Wednesday and as far as I recall, she came the next day. She was thrilled when we asked if she would be his nanny and I can tell that she cares for him deeply, she misses him when we're away and she delights in his pleasant demeanor...and he responds to her. Sometimes I wonder if his first word will be in Thai...
Tub time!
Yet even though this is an ideal situation, I find negotiating this relationship challenging (Mother & Nanny), I'm not entirely comfortable being "boss" (for lack of a better word). And I've noticed that I'm reserved in confronting things that I'd like to see done differently. 
So Dylan & I go to school together every morning. It's a very short ride, most days it takes less than 10 minutes, I load him into the stroller so I can carry all the bags, we make a quick stop by my classroom (to drop off one of the bags), then walk to the other end of campus where the nursery is located. I nurse him, then I head off to teach. 
I have a break at 9:15 and if Dylan isn't sleeping, she brings him to my classroom to nurse.  My lunch break is at 11:10, she always brings him at this time, he hangs out with us while we eat lunch in the office, then I nurse him again...he usually naps again in the afternoon, then I walk over to the nursery for one more feeding before we head home, which is usually around 3. 
He has adjusted well, he naps at school and rolls around that campus in his stroller like he's the prince of CMIS.
On my end, I do enjoy being back at work. The students & I have picked up right where we left off, the only difference now being that I seem to have a terrible memory! It's remarkable how easily I forget things...I absolutely have to write everything down and have dedicated a notebook to this purpose of being my running to do list. 
My other issue is sleep. Dylan continues to be an inconsistent sleeper...I'm actually amazed at how I'm able to make it though the day on the little amount of sleep I'm getting. 
Chronic sleep deprivation, that's my condition. Side affects include dark circles and puffy eyes,  sudden bouts of silliness or spontaneously bursting into tears.

***Note*** I've been sitting on this blog for at least 2 weeks...there's more to be said but I'm finding it difficult to find the right words. This new identity as a working mom and the most difficult part of my week EVERY WEEK when Fuad travels overnight to Bangkok for work. Some mornings it just feels like too much...getting myself ready, getting Dylan ready and taking care of Baxter all before 7:00 am! It's a tight schedule with no wiggle room for error. If something goes wrong, it throws off the entire morning and spills over into my day. 

Sleepy boy...
Otherwise, Dylan continues to thrive. His first tooth is just starting to show! Since he's kind of on the late side with this, I have a feeling more will appear very soon. We're still breastfeeding at the 8 month mark and still using cloth diapers. He is a VERY busy boy! He's crawling everywhere and pulling himself up to stand on just about anything he can get his hands on! He and Baxter are starting to really get along since Dylan has started eating some finger foods and Baxter gets to eat all the pieces that have fallen on the floor.
Dylan loves standing up, here he's under the dining table.

Thanks for reading, thanks for all the kind thoughts and encouraging words. There are some days when I miss our people back home terribly.