Synchronicity & Clarity

Synchronicity: uncanny coincidence, the unlikely conjunction of events, and/or a startling serendipity...

Clarity can be the result of synchronicity, giving you the feeling that what you've been looking for was already there...

I've had some time to myself this week with Fuad gone in London and I had a realization today that what I'm experiencing is culture shock, and for some reason, it feels reassuring to have a label or a name for how I feel. I guess it acknowledges that it's normal, and that I'm not alone, that others have gone through this. It seems like a most people who've traveled and spent long periods (or maybe even short periods) of time outside of their own culture have experienced culture shock. However, I feel isolated because I'm surrounded by people who have been here for long periods of time (I even work with some American teachers who have lived in Asia most of their lives) and even though Fuad I and moved here together, he has a separate process...he's actually more like a Third Culture Kid (he'll have to blog about that) so what he is feeling is not at all like what I'm feeling.

When I looked up the text book definition of what culture shock is...I was surprised by how much of it fits how I'm feeling. The homesickness is just a symptom of the bigger issue. I miss so many aspects of our life in Chicago, but mostly I miss feeling familiar with my environment. {Homesickness, Check}

This past weekend I was sick (my belly adapting to the "intestinal flora") so I stayed in bed most of the day with stomach issues, Fuad did his best to take care of me while at the same time preparing to leave for London. I was so weak and ill I was concerned that I wouldn't even be able to go to school on Monday.

{Digestive issues, Check}

Last night for no apparent reason, I couldn't sleep... After I did fall asleep, I woke up in the middle of the night with more stomach cramps, because of this change in my stomach stability and sleeping patterns I looked at the clock this evening and wanted to go to bed at 7:45! That's definitely not normal...I've hardly taken any naps here...for most of my adult life I've taken an afternoon nap, I LOVE my naps, but it just doesn't happen, even if I feel tired.

{Sleep pattern issues, Check}

The words "culture shock" never even crossed my mind prior to making this move. In contrast to the #1 question I was asked prior to moving "Aren't you excited?" I'm now constantly being asked "Are you getting settled?" Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment from my new colleagues, but what I really want to say is "no, not really."

So where does the synchronicity & clarity come in? Last weekend Fuad & I had one of our lengthy discussions about what I now know I can label as culture shock. We discussed how we could potentially change how we feel (our emotions) by adjusting our attitude towards them. We actually had a difference of opinions, which rarely happens between us. Fuad says we can control our emotions, I disagree. I say we can control how we react to our emotions.

Then I came across this passage from "A Life Worth Breathing" by Max Strom that addresses the very subject we were talking about...

The Storm in Your Mind

It is the storm in your mind-the mental stress, negativity, and endless inner monologue-that causes so much of your emotional suffering and ill health. It is by teaching your intellect to become quiet, and learning to be still, that you can become happier, healthier, and more emotionally stable. Constant lurching into the future or dwelling on past events robs you of the present. True joy is experienced only in the present, so you have to be present to experience it.

Have you ever wondered why you cannot remember most of your life? It is because you weren't really there. You were hallucinating about the past or future so your consciousness missed the present. Why would you remember what you didn't experience? We live in the "greatest hits"-or "darkest hits'- of memory consciousness, and although many of our memories are negative, we replay them again and again. Each time we replay negative memories, we relive the emotions, perhaps even reliving a trauma.

Because they do not truly understand these concepts, many teach the need for a positive outlook as the solution to this problem; however, positive thinking alone is not enough, as our minds are so easily affected by external negative stimuli. For example, you can be in a very positive state but then be triggered into an argument in a mere moment from one wrong word. You must learn to achieve inner stillness, regardless of the outer circumstances. It is only when you can still the storm in your mind that you can unify mind, body, and emotions.

Surrendering to stillness is an essential state of mind that the saints and mystics consider essential in order to know themselves, to develop consciousness, or to merge with God.

When the mind is still, the heart-our emotional center-is unencumbered, and when the heart is unencumbered, we feel joy, contentment, and peace. And then, instead of absorbing the world's chaos into us, more and more we can bring this stillness out into the world. Only after the storm is brought to stillness can we act from our highest Self, or soul, and not from the lower mind of craving, fearing, and so forth.

Be still, and know that I am God. -Psalm 46:10

The synchronicity of these events really left an impression: the tough conversation with Fuad, finding this passage, and having an informal conversation with a co-worker, all of which led me to the idea of culture shock... This process is helping me to find some much needed clarity about this new situation. There's a reason why we're here. I just need to make sure I'm not battling the storm in my mind and miss it....
Here's a video I found about culture shock...sort of... I thought it was worth sharing, for a quick laugh...